My name is Pat Williams aka Patty aka Trish and I am the primary caregiver for my husband Ernie who has had liver cancer for over five years.  He is a medical anomaly because he never had hepatitis and is not an alcoholic and has lived far beyond the six months he was initially given by the medical community.   My primary job today is that of caregiver, but to answer who I am - I am a wife, woman, mother, educator, English and writing teacher, writer and seeker.  This is day one of a blog that I hope will generate conversation, provide ideas and spread a bit of hope to what might seem like hopeless situations.  I am not an expert on care giving, but I can speak to my experiences over the past five years and share what has worked for me because I truly believe there are many of you, like me, who may feel as isolated as I once did as you travel this cancer journey with your loved one.  That is the ''why'' of this blog.  The ''how'' of this blog I will be determined by your posts.

The idea of blogging first came to me several years ago, but as a dues paying member of the older generation, it took a while to to understand the concept of blogging and then some self education to actually set it up.  Like a kid peering through a store front window at a shiny new toy, I did just that for a while: I peered without buying, but today I am buying into the whole idea.  I have a round block of wood on top of my desk that is cut on a diagonal with this message painted on top: "I'm getting it together - tomorrow".  Beneath it is a small blue snail and that has certainly been personal mascot for a long time.

I'd like to begin by sharing some of our history with you, long before cancer entered our lives and in future posts would like to address The Diagnosis - ours and yours, The Big "C" of Cancer and The New Normal just to list a few ideas I already have for posts.  Hopefully this first post will not resemble the type of essay English teachers assign to their students and I promise not to dwell too long.

Looking back, I believe our encounter was a kind of cosmic collision.  My journey with Ernie began almost forty six years ago, but my first mental encounter with "Ernie" began even further back than our initial face-to-face meeting when I was sixteen years old at a high school slumber party.  Long after my girlfriend's parents had gone to bed, we grabbed the Ouija board and asked the typical teenage questions.  When I positioned my fingers on the receptacle with another of my friends and asked "Who am I going to marry?" our hands were moved over the letters "u", "r", "n" & "y" - the phonetic spelling of "Ernie".  Since I didn't know anyone named Ernie, I forgot about it and  wouldn't remember this event until several years later when I attended college and actually met my Ernie on campus in the university cafeteria.  Once again, the planets seemed to be in alignment because he would only remember me and call me because his mother's first name was Patricia just like mine and because his last name was Williams and mine was Williamson.  And so it seems, the universe had plans for us.   After a two year courtship and a big church wedding, we were married on November 29th, 1968.  Our friendship which began decades ago has withstood the test of time.  During the first years of our marriage, we worked, played, traveled and even lived for a year in New Orleans before the birth of our daughter, Laurie, on September 9, 1975. 

Our years together have been characterized by highs and lows with nothing more remarkable than two people who share common interests, enjoy life, who work and play and travel, and who have lived and loved for over four decades until Ernie's life stage directions changed with "Enter Cancer - stage left or right or upstage or backstage".