"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." Mahatma Gandhi
I spent most of my career as a classroom teacher and often wondered if my students honestly believed I lived in my classroom and just popped up from behind my desk every morning based on their questions and expectations. Teachers assume the roles of educator, counselor, substitute parent and disciplinarian to name only a few. As caregiver, I find parallels to the same feelings I once had as a teacher with the variety of roles I play today. I am health care coordinator, dietitian, appointment coordinator, research analyst, nurse and primary support person. A dear friend recently said, "You will never be as important to anyone in your entire life as you are right now" and I believe she is right. Being a caregiver is an awesome responsibility and opportunity despite the multitude of roles associated with the job.
As health care coordinator, it is my job to keep up with doctors' appointments and to speak up during those appointments if Ernie isn't sharing the whole truth with them regarding his condition at the time even though it may be an unpopular stance to take. I understand physicians need as much information as they can gather to make decisions regarding my husband's treatment and care. It is my job to pay close attention to his nutrition and encourage him to eat foods that will serve his body well. We have had the privilege of working with a dietitian recently and have taken her suggestions in preparing the right foods.
I have learned that with the body system, when one thing is out of kilter, other things follow. I realize that this is not exactly an astute observation, only a logical one, but in the course of every day living, I usually don't contemplate the workings of the body system. I take it for granted and assume it will simply work as it is designed to work. With cancer patients, many medications can cause diarrhea. Diarrhea can cause dehydration and that condition can precipitate other conditions. For example, fluid intake is important to my husband's chemo pill regimen, but with fluid intake comes the necessity to urinate and since he suffers from numbness in his feet, getting up and down isn't always easy.
As caregiver, I need to constantly remind myself that the body system is complex and empathize with him as he endeavors to follow doctors' orders. Also, because I am overseeing his care and he has several specialists who seldom if ever communicate with one another, it is my responsibility to see the big picture and evaluate his care overall. Ernie has excellent physicians overseeing his care, but much like the theme of the ancient parable "The Blind Man and The Elephant", each specialist is seeing only his particular part and may not be considering his entire system.
As caregivers, our roles may be varied, but our purpose is the same: to help our loved one as he or she travels this path which, for some of you, may be a new journey and for others a continuing one. I will try to share with you from time to time various websites I have found that have excellent and very specific information for caregivers, so you will be informed and can make intelligent decisions. A recent website I discovered is: http://www.practicalcaregiverguides.com/cancer-caregiving-guide
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