WHEN THE LION ESCAPES THE DEN

"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."  Nelson Mandela

  

The angry roar of frustration can spill over to the caregiver.  Often through this process, Ernie has reached those points of frustration and rightfully so considering the stresses and strains not only on his physical body over these past years, but also the emotional strains.  As caregiver, I sometimes forget how hard it is for him, especially when I feel like I’m swimming against the tide.  One of the roles I have taken on during this journey is the role of reminding him to stay hydrated and take the pills prescribed plus monitoring his daily needs.  I’m sure from his vantage point it feels like I’m nagging when all I’m trying to do is to help him.  I am not the enemy and sometimes he needs to be reminded of that fact, and yet, from his perspective I can only imagine how often he feels everything is just coming at him at once, so I guess this is as much about perspective as anything else and sometimes our perspectives are just in conflict with one another.

As caregivers, we wear a multitude of hats and take on many roles, depending on the needs of our loved ones.  Maybe when the lion roars, our role is to hear the roar and understand the frustration behind it instead of bristling, which is often what my first reaction seems to be.  We are afraid for our loved ones and I suspect they are even more afraid sometimes of all the changes that are new and different from life as it once was. 

Sometimes I think it is our job to just let the lion escape the den and roar, realizing that the roar is not really aimed at us at all.